Whiteside Workshops

"The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness"
— Dostoyevsky

"In the final analysis, we count for something only because of the essential we embody, and if we do not embody that, life is wasted."
— Jung

"The most common sort of lie is the one uttered to oneself."
— Nietzsche

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Parenting

Barbara is not offering ongoing life coaching or ongoing parenting coaching at this time, but she is available for an occasional consultation. You may also want to consider taking one of her workshops.

As the cliché goes, we are not given an instruction manual for raising children. Frankly, even if we were, I think many parents would find it necessary to customize their approach to parenting because not all approaches work for all kids. Hence, we have the complexity of parenting and family life.

Wise parenting is the perfect blend of love and intelligence. One only need to look into the world to see that offering love without intelligence often results in the tyranny of the spoiled child, while intelligence without love will never help a child to grow into an adult capable of living in the world with compassion and wisdom.

Barbara has been in the business of educating parents for nearly 25 years, teaching workshops on Parent Effectiveness Training and Parenting Your Adolescent (her trademark workshop for parents of teens), as well as workshops on The Enneagram of Parenting. She has given teacher in-service days and spoken all over the San Francisco Bay Area on topics ranging from, "Cliques, Bullies, and Teen Social Behavior" to "Power Struggles: No I won't, Yes You Will!" She has taught skills to literally thousands of parents and hundreds of teachers that make family life both more tolerable, and even joyful. Some of these skills include Active Listening, Positive and Confrontive I-Messages, Punishment vs. Natural Consequences, handling Power Struggles, Sibling Conflicts, Influencing Values, From Manager to the Consultant with Teens, and the like.

She has seen various parenting philosophies and fads come and go, resulting in her taking the best insights that each has to offer and combining them in a cohesive and cogent way. She offers clients practical tools and skills to implement, along with a deeper understanding as to why these skills are effective.

In addition, Barbara has a keen interest in education. She believes that the child/school fit is extremely important for healthy development of the child into adolescent and ultimately an adult. She discovered this while raising her own three children, and finding that, as individuals, they did not all respond in the same way to the same school environment. With that initial wake-up call with her own children, Barbara began studying various educational philosophies and their school counterparts: public, charter, secular private, religious private, Waldorf, Summerhill, and homeschooling have all come under her scrutiny. Though she does not consider herself an educational consultant, she does believe that she is able to guide parents with respect to their child's education.

It is Barbara's belief that if we want to become the parents we wish to be, we have to be willing to work on ourselves and understand how we think, feel and behave in our relationships. Parents often come to her wishing to change their child, but parenting works the other way around. We first need to change ourselves, and the result will be seeing the changes in our child. We must be willing to become aware of what we are doing or not doing, and what we are feeling and thinking, before we can begin to change relational dynamics.

Conscious, mindful parenting results in a happier family.

We took our first parenting workshop from Barbara, Parent Effectiveness Training, nearly 17 years ago and were helped immensely by the approach and skills that she taught. When our kids were older, we took her "Parenting Your Adolescent" workshop, which was critical to understanding how parenting needs to adjust when raising teens. We were some of Barbara's first students with the Enneagram, which has proved to be an extraordinary guide in helping us better understand ourselves and our children, and we have been involved with her and her work ever since, as are our now grown children. Barbara brings a serious scholarship to her work, true compassion, and perhaps equally important, a delightful sense of humor.

John and Rhonda Luongo

Both Barbara's PET and Enneagram classes have given us powerful tools we use every day to work through issues with our young children. With Barbara's guidance, we have been able to first truly understand ourselves and then see our children for who they are and what they really need from us. She's given us confidence that the time we put in now will set the foundation for a trusting, communicative relationship with our children as they grow older.

Heather Hart

I took my first class with Barbara in 1996, when my daughter was 6 months old! Her PET class was amazing; my husband and I couldn't help mention what we were learning in our class to everyone we came in contact with, even to people without children. My older daughter is now 14 years old and over the years I've attended a few of Barbara's classes and have been in her refresher class for years. Her Enneagram class helped me understand myself and accept my children for who they are. The Refreshers are great, not only for the help I get with the issues I bring up, but also for listening to and learning from my classmate's issues.

Marjan Javaharian